I find myself trying to explain ever-more-complicated concepts to my Spanish teacher, despite his rigidity about which tenses I am allowed to learn, and in what order. I have a sneaking suspicion that he isn’t teaching me the imperative because he doesn’t want me to be able to order people about.
I am finally allowed to learn the conditional tense, which is also used for indirect speech, and find myself having the following bizarre conversation.
Reginaldo: “What did the Americans say when the French said that they didn’t want to go to war in Iraq?”
Me: (clawing desperately at my limited Spanish) “They said they were monkeys who didn’t want to be in the struggle, and who eat cheese”
Reginaldo: “No. That doesn’t make sense, what do you want to say?”
Me: (in English) “ That they were cheese-eating surrender-monkeys”
Reginaldo (after a puzzled pause) “Ah, he said they were monkeys who didn’t want to be in the struggle and who eat cheese”.
Me (looking smug): “exactly”.
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